crimewave420:

I’d quit playing if this happened to me tbh

I love Axe

My boyfriend & I usually have sex on the floor behind his bed so when you walk in you can only see the bed. And we were having sex one day & I was on top and his mom walks in and she can't see him but she can see me with my shirt on, and she's asking me where he is and I'm sitting on his dick & he's on the bottom trying not to laugh and moving around to make me make faces. And we were talking for like 15 minutes while I was sitting on his dick and having pleasant talk with his mom. NEVER AGAIN.
Anonymous

nativeandnaive:

legendxofxzach:

One time during my freshmen year of college I forgot to do a history paper that was worth 20% of my grade and the teacher didn’t accept late work, so I waited until the professor handed back the papers and angrily asked where mine was. The teacher felt so bad for losing it he let me re-do the entire paper and gave me an A-

You fucking champ

nosdrinker:

the apes deserve to win

rach33z:

actionhankbeard:

Yo Pataki is a re imagining of the Hey Arnold characters as young adults. The series (hypothetically) would center around a 26 year old Helga Pataki who is now a bartender works at the family owned business, Big Bob’s Cafe.

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Helga

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When Big…

pokebae:

when u realize u sent an important text to the wrong person

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theredguardian:

armisael:

*blacklists the words x and y*

just try and blacklist THIS

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